i think my mom watched the whole time
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
