I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
