Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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