is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
