you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
