so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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