Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
