Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
