There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
