So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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