I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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