Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
