he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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