worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
