so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
