I want to make a zoo with you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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