u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
