He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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