Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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