I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
