you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
