Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
