good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Can I color on your dick again?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
