even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
