Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
