hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
