I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
