Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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