3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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