Your tits are I can't wait for
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
