so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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