Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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