Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
