i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
