6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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