but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
