Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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