I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
