She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
