put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
