Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
