this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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