Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
