I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
