No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
