Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
