i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
