You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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