You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
