Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
