I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
