For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
