I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
