I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
