I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's never too late to be topless.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize